Is it weird to be sexually attracted to a laptop?

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 01/30/2019 at 20:45 • Filed to: Laptoplopnik, Computerlopnik

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Why are thinkpads so sexy? Nibby, chime in on this one.

Just ordered my Mom a lightly used X220 for like $80. She finds herself travelling a lot more lately and the battered old T420 she’s been using has been annoying for her to lug around. She wanted something more portable and with the old-style keyboard so this fits the bill.

I’ll be migrating her to an SSD too. The HDD she has has been with her for three laptops now and it’s gonna eventually fail. Does anyone know any good utilities for automating this?

I’m still researching replacements for my Lenovo Y510. I ideally want something like the P51 pictured at the top but those cost a grand USED so that's  just a pipe dream.

Future Heap Owner > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 20:49

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It’s cause they have that little nipple in the middle of the keyboard . Everybody loves the nipple.

I’ve been rocking my T530 (the last model with a good long-travel keyboard) for over five years now. I’m hoping to keep on rocking it for at least another three.

Nibby > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 20:51

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not bad at all, but i prefer elitebooks for more modern laptops... they’re built better, easier to upgrade, and have better screens

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 20:52

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yes.... it wierd

but you do you

(says the guy planning to build a mega tower so the missus can have this pc for her artsy needs...... i mean its only an i 7-4770 with 16 gigs of ram.... clearly i need to upgrade)

(i do really need to upgrade the gpu tho... 750ti.... its letting the side down)

MM54 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 20:52

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I used a program called “reflect” or something like that to copy my HDD to an SSD for a laptop several years ago.

deekster_caddy > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 20:53

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Yes. Yes it is.

jminer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 20:57

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Use a USB to SATA adapter and clonezilla to copy over the drive. A new machine is also always a good excuse to build a fresh OS and clean everything up.

Also it is perfectly normal to be physically aroused by a thinkpad...

I have a X220, that my wife has mostly replaced with an iPad, its still decently light, and portable the issue was really the heat it output and the lousy battery. This one had an i7, so that definitely doesn’t help.  

I really wish Lenovo still made laptops like this, the modern ones are still pretty good but not the same.

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 20:57

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My dad has one from the 90s in his closet. It’s crazy how little the form factor has changed. It’s an elegant design, and I like it very much.

facw > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 20:57

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I had an X220s (like the X220, but with a higher-res screen) that I liked a lot. I was not sexually attracted to it though.

interstate366, now In The Industry > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 20:59

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BeaterGT > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 20:59

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It's my work laptop so I have mixed feelings.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > BeaterGT 01/30/2019 at 21:04

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Never mix work and sex. If it doesn't work out you'll still have to see her around the office constantly.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > deekster_caddy 01/30/2019 at 21:05

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Prude.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Nibby 01/30/2019 at 21:08

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I had an HP notebook once. It had *shudder* ATI graphics.

promoted by the color red > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 21:08

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I still have my T400 from 2009. It runs like a top and has outlasted the laptops my friends bought at the time. All it’s needed in the last ten years is a new battery and a keyboard. Love that thing.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Future Heap Owner 01/30/2019 at 21:09

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Do you like the eraser nipple or the flattened one?

Future Heap Owner > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 21:12

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Whichever one has the little dots on it to make it look even more like a nipple less slippery .

Honeybunchesofgoats > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 21:15

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No.

My last Windows laptop was an X61t. I’ve never loved a laptop so much, and Windows 8 bricking it was what pushed me full time to Macs.

I used to be friends with a few ThinkPad design people and it makes me really sad how far they have fallen.

Back in the day, I had a battery that failed after a BIOS update. I called on a Sunday morning at 3  AM. A guy in Tennessee picked up the support line and sent me a new battery. It arrived at 9 AM on Monday morning. There was nothing like old IBM customer service. I stayed with them from the day I bought my first ThinkPad to the day they told me to go on eBay to buy adhesive to fix a screen separation problem that “we should cover, but we don’t, and I’m really sorry.”

Don’t get a Y, though. That was already when Lenovo was in their shit phase.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Future Heap Owner 01/30/2019 at 21:15

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I like the other style because it's easier to flick.

Future Heap Owner > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 21:16

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To be fair I haven’t tried that one in many years.

Mine is honestly getting pretty worn down, I need to replace it. But it still works and I’m lazy

Honeybunchesofgoats > Honeybunchesofgoats 01/30/2019 at 21:17

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Side note, the conversation went like this:

“Do you want me to send the old battery?”

“No, it’s probably our fault. If you send it, we might be able to diagnose it, but I trust it’s dead.”

Aremmes > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 21:18

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Not gonna lie to you - it is indeed weird to feel sexual attraction towards a computing device. However, there are people who like Jukes, Murano Crosscabriolets, Accord Crosstours, and Panameras, so it's a wash.

Honeybunchesofgoats > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 21:18

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Eraser nipple, best nipple. It got nasty real fast, but, shit, I loved that thing. Domes had nothing on furry nipple. 

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Honeybunchesofgoats 01/30/2019 at 21:19

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My aunt used to be a bigwig software architect for IBM. She got a hefty employee discount, and was able to pass it on to family. As a result my mom always had one. Other brands weren’t even considered. The only time I’ve owned a non-IBM/Lenovo notebook was because someone gave me a free HP of some sort . Never again.

BeaterGT > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 21:19

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Ah yes , do not produce excrement where thine dine.

dogisbadob > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 21:34

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You’re not actually attracted to the laptop itself, just the porn files you have stored on it :p

4kc > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 21:57

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I have a P50 with the fancy screen. It was worth it. Strongly recommend 

OPPOsaurus WRX > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 21:57

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all this ‘software architect’ and ‘web architect’ shit is nuts. No your not a fucking architect. an Architect is an architect and that i s it.

sorry, i’m sure your aunt is a very nice person

BUT SHES NOT A FUCKING ARCHITECT

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 22:23

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When the lenovo W700 DS extends it’s secondary screen.... I EXTEND WITH IT! RRRRGGGGHHH!!! PRODUCTIVITY AND MULTITASKING! Optimized screen reeeeeeeaalllll estaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAATE! It had Nvidia Quadro graphics that were quite good for the era so you could run solidworks like a champ I HAVE TO RENDER EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING RENDERED ALL THE TIME!

Oh, you want to see what I’m working on? Let me show you on this screen OR THAT SCREEN it is fine by me, let us go over my numbers an d units and SO MANY FRAMES RENDERED ON *BOTH* SCREENS!!!!! LOOK AT THESE 3DMARK RESULTS! I CAN EDIT A MOVIE WHILE RENDERING THINGS THAT GO IN IT! 

...

..

.

Honestly I’ve never owned a thinkpad, I just really liked the W700 and at the time, being at an engineering school, this was the ultimate bad boy of the laptop world.

CB > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 22:31

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I have a ThinkPad. Keyboard is currently broken, and their tech support options were "we can send you a keyboard to fix it yourself" or "send it to us and we'll get it back to you in a week and a half". If my last name didn't cause them problems, I'd be more impressed.

Wacko > Future Heap Owner 01/30/2019 at 22:37

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We call those a clitoris   

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > 4kc 01/30/2019 at 22:42

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I don’t want to  have t o take a mortgage out on a laptop.

Future Heap Owner > Wacko 01/30/2019 at 23:12

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The nipple has many names

Textured Soy Protein > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/30/2019 at 23:20

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I like ThinkPads because I generally like gadgets that are designed to be used and stand up to a little abuse. I take very good care of my tech stuff but I don’t like these objects to be needlessly fragile. If I were to get one, I like both the T480s and X1 Carbon but both of those configured as I want are $1500+.

The reality is that my mid-2014 MacBook Pro 13 is only now even starting to show signs of not quite keeping up with everything in only certain small instances and still for the most part does everything I need just fine, and there are plenty of other gadget purchases in my house that would take precedence.

I want a 14" laptop under 3 lbs with at least a 1080p screen, backlit keyboard, current gen quad core CPU, 12+ GB RAM, 512+ GB SSD. The big must-have upgrade over my MBP is a USB-C or Thunderbolt 3 port with ability to charge and output to a monitor through one USB-C port. All Thunderbolt 3 ports can do this and some USB-C also support it. That way I can dock the laptop to power, monitor, keyboard, mouse etc with one port. My monitor has a USB hub but I still have to plug 3 whole cables (power, display, USB) in to get it hooked into my desk. Such difficulty. 

nerd_racing > Honeybunchesofgoats 01/31/2019 at 08:15

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I wanted one of these in the worst way when I was in college.  I ended up buying an Asus version that was an “open box” unit from tiger direct.  It showed up and the ram door was scratched to hell and the ram was missing.  I pulled the ram from my laptop to get it up and running.  When it fired up it looked like someone scrubbed the screen with sandpaper.  The box it came in said it passed tiger directs 100 point quality test.  Needless to say I returned it and never purchased anything from there again.  I’d consider getting a Lenovo Yoga. 

Nibby > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/31/2019 at 08:25

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probably a pavilion or some consumer turd... their business and workstation lines are completely different.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Wacko 01/31/2019 at 09:36

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Crotch nipple.